Being Happy

What does a normal 18 year old, high on hormones and bad luck in life, do? If movies and sitcoms were to be believed, it is absolutely necessary for one to drown oneself in a bucket-full of chocolate ice cream, donuts or red velvet cupcakes and just let all the empty calories flow through one's blood stream. But that barely works in the real world. It just makes you fat(ter)! What would I do? Me? Contemplate reality. Look into the past, and look at all the wonderful things I loved.

When I was three, I wanted to be a Dinosaur. And yes, it was my first word! (Ask my mum, if you don't believe me!) I had this sad looking florescent pink and green drum that had a picture of a Black T-Rex on it, and I used to literally spend EVER WAKING MINUTE playing it and yelling d-d-d-d-DYNASHORE! It made me SO happy, that it fixed almost everything else.

Then I grew up a little, and started going to school. Mum started working again, and my whole day revolved mostly around my grandparents. Happiness, for me, was time with them. My grandmother is a classical singer, who has been taking classes since as far back as I can remember. I can CLEARLY remember standing at the gate, 4 feet tall, battling hoards of her students away bravely, yelling "There's no class today! Go away!" More than a decade later now, my not-so-victorious ventures are still brought up in lite conversation. But for every defeat, my grandfather was a pick-me-up! I STILL remember all the great times!  There was a weekly lecture by Swamiji at our Bangalore home every Thursday, when the both of us would pack our lunch in a box, and go up to the terrace or balcony for a 'picnic'. He spent this time teaching me about the universe, and how to appreciate Science, no matter what form it is in! Some things, I can never forget!

As I grew more, different things made me happy. Sometimes, it was my cats, or my friends, or jumping into a pool of stagnant water thriving with insect life, or even a glass of really expensive coffee! I feel, now, that happiness is an amplification of a content being. Nothing more, nothing less. And maybe, I'm just  not satisfied with how my life is going. I haven't come to terms with the fact that I wasn't winning everywhere anymore. Maybe, the right victory is waiting for me behind the wrong door. But I will never know that, unless I try!